King of My Process
by Kelli Kinney (originally published May 2016)
I’ll never forget the phone call I received three years ago saying my Grandma had suffered a major stroke. My world came crashing in on me that day. I felt like I was being asked to take a journey I felt ill equipped to participate in.
In the days that followed, my once-vibrant, intentional, loving, and God-fearing Grandma would slowly lose herself to stroke-induced dementia. A little over a year ago, she no longer remembered my name and forgot who I was altogether. It is a POWERFUL thing to be recognized by someone you love and a crushing blow to be forgotten by someone you hold so dear. Both for what it was doing to her, and for what it meant to me, I grew to dislike dementia more with every passing day.
I began to develop apprehension in going to visit her. Her memory care facility seemed to bring out a certain unsettledness in my spirit that always left me on edge before each visit and an emotional wreck afterward.
It was during this season of my life that I had the opportunity to allow the Lord to be the King of my process. With Him by my side, I was able to begin grieving someone that I dearly loved, even though they were still living.
God began to encourage me to show up and be present for my Grandma, even when that was the hardest and most painful thing. Loving someone with no guaranteed love in return? HARD. Realizing the disease she now possessed would eventually overtake her little by little everyday, and there’s nothing you can do to help her? DOUBLE HARD.
”Consider it pure joy…whenever you face trials of many kinds…(James 1:2 NIV)”
Through this trial, I began to see if I allow God to be the King of my process, He could then become the King of my promise.
A promise of eternity. (Hebrews 1:10-12)
A promise of time redeemed. (Ephesians 5:16)
A promise of not wasting any of my pain. (1 Corinthians 15:58)
My grandma went to be with Jesus almost 3 years after having her initial stroke. Just a few short weeks ago, she left this world and entered into heaven where she ran into Jesus’ loving arms! No more death, no more sickness, no more tears. Eternal joy made complete.
All who call on the name of Jesus and are saved receive the promise of heaven (Romans 10:13). What glorious hope ignites my soul at this wonderful thought! I look forward to a joyous reunion in heaven one day with my amazing Grandma. She lived a life full of the promises of God.
We are given ONE LIFE to live on this planet, with no do-overs. We are given TODAY. Every minute counts. Oh, to be a faithful steward of the breath God has given! I encourage you to pray this prayer with me, surrendering all to a loving and hope-giving Savior. May He be found as the King of your process no matter what you face today. He is faithful to His promises!
“Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for being our Shepherd, our Comforter, our Friend. Thank you for so graciously coming alongside us in our times of grief and pain. You are so merciful! Thank you for always extending your loving arms to fall into and feel comforted by when we are distressed. We praise you for being the King of our lives and circumstances. We praise you for allowing ALL THINGS to work for good for those who love you. Thank you, Father, for your love. Thank you for the hope of heaven. Thank you for going and preparing a place for us where we one day will rejoice and be reunited with those who have gone before us. We love you Lord! In Jesus name we pray, amen.”